Taking Ground | Week 6
Day 1
“As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received.” — Ephesians 4:1
Paul begins this passage in a way that should slow us down. He does not speak as a man giving advice from a distance. He speaks as someone who has been shaped by suffering, obedience, and surrender. He calls himself a prisoner for the Lord. Not a victim of Rome. Not a casualty of politics. A prisoner for Christ.
That matters, because Paul is about to talk to us about how we live—how we love, how we relate, how we remain unified. And he does so from a place of deep submission. Paul understands that the Christian life is not lived on our terms. It is lived in response to a calling.
That word—calling—is one we often use casually, but Scripture never does. A calling is not a hobby. It is not something we fit into the margins of our lives. A calling is a divine summons. It is God saying, “This is what I am forming you for.”
And marriage, according to Scripture, is one of those callings.
The Deep Desire for a Meaningful Life
If we’re honest, most people are not trying to live shallow lives. We want meaning. We want purpose. We want to know that our days matter and that our relationships are not empty or accidental. That desire shows up in our work, in our parenting, and especially in our marriages.
We want our marriages to mean something. We want them to be more than just surviving. We want them to count.
But meaning doesn’t come from intensity or emotion alone. Meaning comes from purpose. And when the purpose of something is unclear, frustration always follows.
There’s an old principle that proves true again and again: where purpose is unknown, abuse is inevitable. When we don’t understand what something is for, we mishandle it. We put expectations on it that it was never designed to carry. And eventually, we either break it or walk away from it.
That happens in marriage all the time.
How We’ve Been Taught to Think About Marriage
Most of us grew up breathing in a contractual view of marriage without even realizing it. Marriage, we’re told, is about compatibility. About mutual benefit. About two people agreeing to meet each other’s needs. And as long as that agreement feels fair, the relationship continues.
That’s the logic of a contract.
A contract is carefully defined. Nothing is assumed. Everything is negotiated. And when the agreement is broken, the contract provides a way out. Contracts are not built on trust; they are built on protection. They exist not to ensure faithfulness, but to prepare for failure.
And when that mindset is applied to marriage, something subtle but dangerous happens. Expectations quietly replace covenant. Performance replaces faithfulness. And when life changes—as it always does—disappointment begins to grow.
We expect people not to change. Or we expect to change them. And when neither happens, we start asking whether this is still “working.”
God’s Different Vision: Covenant
The Bible does not speak about marriage as a contract. It speaks about marriage as a covenant.
A covenant is relational at its core. It is not about enforcement; it is about faithfulness. It governs how people relate to one another over time, especially when conditions are not ideal.
God consistently uses covenant language to describe His relationship with His people. And that should humble us. God binds Himself to imperfect people not because they are reliable, but because He is.
Marriage reflects that same pattern.
A covenant does not ask, “What happens if this stops working?” A covenant says, “I am here to stay, and we will work.”
That doesn’t mean marriage is easy. It means marriage is holy.
Marriage Is a Calling
When Paul urges believers to live worthy of their calling, he is not calling them to earn God’s love. He is calling them to live in alignment with what God has already given them.
Marriage is not something we stumble into by accident. It is something we are entrusted with. It is a calling that forms us, exposes us, stretches us, and—if we submit to it—sanctifies us.
This is why marriage feels so demanding at times. It confronts our selfishness. It challenges our pride. It reveals how little patience we sometimes have. That is not a flaw in marriage; it is part of God’s design.
Marriage is one of God’s primary classrooms for learning how to love like Christ.
Character Before Conflict
Paul doesn’t start with communication techniques or conflict resolution strategies. He starts with the heart.
“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.”
Those words describe posture before they describe behavior. Humility. Gentleness. Patience. Love. These are not skills you master once; they are qualities you practice daily.
Marriage does not survive on compatibility alone. It survives on character. Two people can be deeply compatible and still destroy one another if humility and gentleness are absent. And two very different people can build something beautiful when those qualities are present.
Surrender Changes Everything
Paul’s authority to speak comes from his surrender. He is not asking believers to do anything he has not already embraced himself. He has laid his life down.
In marriage, surrender does not mean losing your voice or your value. It means releasing the illusion that you can control another human heart. You cannot force growth. You cannot demand transformation. You cannot manage your spouse into holiness.
But you can submit yourself to the work God wants to do in you.
And when one person begins to live worthy of the calling, it changes the atmosphere of the marriage.
A Witness Worth Preserving
Marriage is not just personal; it is formative. It shapes us, and it shows something to the world. A covenant marriage tells a story about God—about faithfulness, endurance, grace, and redemption.
That is why Paul will soon speak about unity and effort. Unity does not happen accidentally. It is guarded. It is pursued. It is protected.
And it begins with seeing marriage not as an arrangement to manage, but as a calling entrusted by God.
