Taking Ground | Week 6
Day 2
“Be completely humble…” — Ephesians 4:2a
One of the first things Paul tells us after calling us to live worthy of our calling is this: be completely humble. That word “completely” matters. Paul is not talking about occasional humility, situational humility, or humility when it’s convenient. He is talking about a posture of the heart that shapes the whole life.
In marriage, humility is not optional. It is foundational.
Most marriages do not break down because people stop loving each other. They break down because people stop learning. They stop listening. They stop being teachable. Pride quietly settles in, and growth quietly leaves.
Humility Is Teachability
At its core, humility means being teachable. A humble person is willing to learn, willing to admit they don’t know everything, and willing to accept that growth is still needed. Pride says, “This is just who I am.” Humility says, “God is still working on me.”
Marriage quickly exposes whether we are teachable or not. Your spouse sees you closer than anyone else ever will. They see your reactions, your habits, your blind spots, and your patterns. And that exposure can either soften us or harden us.
One of the great dangers in marriage is assuming that time alone produces maturity. It doesn’t. Time only reveals what has been cultivated—or what has been ignored.
There’s a well-known quote that says, “The illiterate of the future are not those who cannot read or write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn.” That is especially true in marriage. What worked in one season may not work in another. What you learned early on may need to be reshaped as life changes.
Humble couples understand that growth is ongoing.
You Don’t Choose to Be Different — You Work to Become Different
Many couples sincerely say, “We’re working on our marriage.” That sounds good. But when asked how, the answer is often vague. Good intentions without concrete action rarely lead to real change.
You don’t choose to be different one day and magically become different the next. Change happens when you build new abilities. Growth requires effort, structure, and often help from outside yourself.
This is true spiritually, emotionally, and relationally. You don’t drift into maturity. You train for it.
When humility is present, couples begin asking better questions:
What do we need to learn?
What habits need to change?
What tools do we not yet have?
Who can help us grow?
Humble people don’t see help as weakness. They see it as wisdom.
Promises Don’t Build Trust — Practice Does
One of the most painful realities in struggling marriages is broken trust. And often, trust is offered too quickly and withdrawn too harshly.
Promises alone do not rebuild trust. Anyone can promise to do better. Trust is rebuilt when someone does the work required to become better.
This is why humility matters so deeply. A humble person doesn’t just apologize; they pursue growth. They don’t just express regret; they develop new disciplines. They don’t ask for trust back immediately; they understand trust follows evidence of change.
Whether it’s addiction, anger, communication, or spiritual inconsistency, lasting change almost always requires outside support—counseling, groups, mentoring, structure. Willpower alone rarely carries people very far.
Humility says, “I need help.”
Pride says, “I’ve got this.”
Growth Is a Fruit of Salvation, Not a Requirement for It
Paul’s call to humility is not about earning God’s favor. We do not grow so that we can be saved; we grow because we are saved. These qualities—humility, teachability, obedience—are matters of the heart.
It is possible to do religious things without being transformed. But a heart surrendered to Christ will always be moving toward growth. That growth may be slow, but it will be real.
In marriage, this means our faith should show up in how we listen, how we repent, how we learn, and how we change. A follower of Christ does not dig in their heels when confronted; they lean in.
Humility Helps Us See Ahead
One of the quiet blessings of humility is discernment. When we are growing, we begin to notice patterns earlier. We see tension before it turns into resentment. We sense drift before it becomes distance.
Pride blinds us. Humility sharpens us.
A teachable heart allows God to correct us early, gently, and privately—before correction becomes painful, public, or costly.
Marriage as a Learning Environment
God designed marriage to be one of the primary places where humility is formed. Your spouse will stretch you. They will challenge you. They will reveal places where you still need grace.
This is not a flaw in marriage. It is part of the calling.
A humble spouse does not say, “That’s just how I am.”
A humble spouse says, “What is God trying to teach me here?”
And when humility is present, learning becomes possible. Growth becomes normal. And trust begins to rebuild—not because of promises, but because of change that can be seen.
Paul begins the work of unity here, with humility, because without teachability, nothing else will last.
Marriage takes ground when we are willing to learn something new—about ourselves, about our spouse, and about God.
