Taking Ground | Week 6
Day 6
“Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.” — Ephesians 4:3
Paul closes this section with a shift in focus. After calling us to humility, gentleness, patience, and longsuffering love, he lifts our eyes beyond the immediate struggles of relationship and points us toward something larger. He speaks of unity—not as an abstract idea, but as something that must be actively guarded.
“Make every effort,” he says.
That phrase tells us something important. Unity does not happen accidentally. Peace does not maintain itself. Covenant does not survive on autopilot. Unity must be protected with intention, perseverance, and sacrifice.
This is where many marriages falter—not because love disappears, but because effort does.
Unity Is a Continual Work
The language Paul uses here implies ongoing action. The idea is not “achieve unity once and you’re done,” but constantly endeavoring to maintain it. Unity is something you keep, not something you assume.
Marriage does not drift toward unity. It drifts toward distance unless effort is applied.
That effort is not about control or perfection. It is about priority. It is about choosing the health of the relationship over the ease of avoidance. It is about engaging instead of escaping, addressing instead of ignoring, and staying instead of withdrawing.
Unity requires work because people are complex, wounds are real, and life is demanding. But Paul does not frame effort as a burden. He frames it as part of the calling.
A Calling Is Something You Build
A calling is not something you discover fully formed. It is something you develop and deepen over time. And development always involves problem-solving.
Marriages grow stronger not because they avoid problems, but because they learn how to face them together. Every conflict becomes an opportunity to build something—patience, understanding, trust, resilience.
This is why so many people struggle with confidence in marriage. Confidence is not something we are born with. It is developed by doing hard things and surviving them. When couples avoid difficulty, confidence erodes. When they engage it together, confidence grows.
Unity is built when spouses repeatedly choose to work through tension rather than around it.
Peace Is a Bond, Not a Mood
Paul describes peace as a bond. That word matters. A bond is something that holds things together under pressure. Peace, in this sense, is not the absence of conflict—it is the presence of commitment.
Peace does not mean you always agree. It means you stay connected even when you disagree. It means you fight for unity rather than fighting to win.
The book of James reminds us that external conflict often mirrors internal conflict. When we are unsettled within, we struggle to live at peace with others. That’s why unity in marriage is deeply connected to unity with God.
When we are not at peace with Him, we will inevitably struggle to be at peace with one another.
Seeing the Bigger Picture
Many marital conflicts feel enormous in the moment. Words are spoken. Emotions rise. Old wounds resurface. In those moments, it’s easy to lose perspective.
Paul calls us to see something bigger.
Marriage is not just about resolving today’s argument. It is about building a life. It is about forming a shared future. It is about reflecting the unity of the Spirit in a divided world.
When couples remember the larger purpose of their covenant, they respond differently in the moment. They slow down. They choose restraint. They protect peace instead of fueling division.
Unity Begins With the Self
One of the most important truths in this passage is often overlooked: the first place unity is formed is not between two people—it is within the individual.
The most progress in marriage is almost always made when one person takes responsibility for their own spiritual health. When we work on ourselves, we contribute to the health of the whole.
Unity does not require perfection from both spouses at the same time. It often begins when one person decides to live worthy of the calling—regardless of how the other responds.
That choice has power.
A Marriage That Reflects the Spirit
Paul calls it the unity of the Spirit. That means unity is not something we manufacture; it is something we steward. The Spirit creates it. We protect it.
When humility, gentleness, patience, and self-denial are practiced consistently, unity becomes visible. Peace becomes tangible. And marriage begins to reflect something eternal.
This is what covenant marriage offers the world—a picture of faithfulness that does not depend on circumstance, emotion, or ease.
Living Worthy of the Calling
Paul began this section urging believers to live worthy of the calling they have received. He ends it by showing us what that life looks like in relationship: effort, unity, peace, and perseverance.
Marriage takes ground when couples see beyond the moment, beyond the argument, beyond the frustration—and commit themselves again to the calling.
Unity is not fragile when it is guarded. Peace is not weak when it is protected. And covenant is not restrictive when it is understood as a calling from God.
Living worthy of that calling does not mean living without struggle. It means living with purpose in the struggle—and choosing unity through the bond of peace.
